Sometimes if you ask me what I'm feeling, I may not be able to tell you
It's there somewhere, But out of my reach.. elusive
Like a wisp of cloud, I try to grasp, it but it slips away


Too many years of trying not to feel denying what was there
Too many times where it seemed like, everything I felt, was completely wrong
Too many moments of trying, desperately to pretend, I felt something I did not


If you see me crying helplessly, and ask me what I'm feeling
I may not be able to tell you

Rebalancing

head down.. tears in my eyes.. I confess.. the long pause is agonizing... You finally speak.. and the weight of Your disappointment feels unbearable...


but I hang on..instead of fleeing into my own misery.. I cling to Your words


squirming in embarrassment at the public confession.. knowing You want this to stay in my mind, that the prick to my silly pride will linger in me....


You send me away and I feel myself sinking into a deep pool of self doubt, the feeling so overwhelming it leaves me breathless.. 


but You arrive.. and firmly grab on... and gently start to pull me out.. holding tight so I cannot slip away..


You forgive me, even thought I cannot yet forgive myself, You hold me close to show me You are there.. and You kiss me to remind me you love me... 


You beat me to bring me back.. to release the tight knot in my belly.. full of my own fear.. 


You wrap me up in Your arms and Your words.. and as I'm drained of all the tension.. You insist that all that is left.. is to go forward together.. the balance between U/us restored..

Corrupted

You have corrupted my senses

I see your whip

and where,

 I should feel only fear...

I tremble with desire

craving the pain

searing into my skin

the burning pool

deep in my belly

setting flames of lust

licking through me

You've addicted me

to the intensity...

to the power You radiate

as You hold my fate

in the palm of Your hand

exposing my rawest needs

In each blow that lands

you have taught me

to feel love

Thank you for loving me Master

My Master Is So Mean to Me

My Master is so mean to me

He plays with my body squeezing me,

Fingering me and caressing me endlessly

Driving me to a grasping, frenzy

He likes to see me squirming, panting,

Writhing and whimpering, in tears,

Begging for release

He keeps me on the edge

Left in a almost constant state

of needy, aching arousal

Broken by shaking

crashing orgasms at His command

He is so wonderfully mean to me.

Completely yours

Kneeling
Held against you
Completely yours

Missing you

I am trying hard not to 
miss you before you are gone
I am trying to focus on the next week 
on savouring every second
on being grateful for every moment
and trying not to worry
about the days.. the nights.. the time
apart


Written June 22, 2011